What do you call a penguin with a big penis? Hey, have you got an inhaler? Hey, you want to do a 68? This blog post is all about Christmas pick up lines. Do you work on computers because you just turned my software into hardware. Lonely TCGTATGG would like to pair up with congenial AGCATACC., 29. Person holding black ace and king spades playing cards on poker table161. Every time youre around, my dick swells, so I think my allergies are getting worse. 222. 44. Because in no time, Ill be jalapeo pussy.green chilli peppers on brown soil. When did you realize you had a thing for me? 21. You are the glue that links my Okazaki strands together., 13. I want you to be part of my team for my upcoming erection. Cause I can see myself in your pants. Want to go tonight? Because Ive got a large bone for you to examine. Does it turn you on? Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie. Is there any connection between your work and politics? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh. 76. Despite being somewhat large, it doesnt leak. You can strip and Ill poke you. Romantic Chat Up Lines For Your Girlfriend. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed 2. At the end of a race I am like chocolate pudding. Roses are red, violets are blue, Im no Fred Flintstone, but I sure can make your bed rock! Because Ill let you inspect my masculinity. Often, those dolling out dirty pick up lines need to tread carefully between overly sentimental and downright explicit, a tightrope walk that more often than not ends in freefall (and a faceful of thrown vodka). Are you Chinese? Suggested read: 24+ Good First Date Ideas To Impress Your Crush. I couldnt speak after seeing you, 120. Because Id like to bang you on all my furniture. 117. 8 Natural Penis Enlargement Exercises You Have to Try Right NOW! 46. 3. 55. Hey babe, I checked it twice and I am pretty sure youre on my naughty list. It's Christmas time again! I think you might be suffering from a lack of Vitamin Me. Do you have a quarter? Your breasts make me think of Mount Rushmore; my face belongs there. Do you go to church often? You can strip and Ill poke you. Do you want to go out on a date with me? If I could change the order of the letters, Id put my name first so you could remember what to complain about later tonight. If I had the option to rearrange the alphabet, I would place U between F and CK.. My pipe is leaking, therefore, I hope youre a plumber. Do you like kids? 158. Pick the ones you might employ based on your goals and proceed with prudence. Because you sure know how to raise a cock! Lets have a party and invite your pants to come on down. 87. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. What are you currently wearing? 19. Girl, are you an iceberg? Why pay for an expensive bra when I would be happy to hold your boobs up all day for free? 43. The pickup lines have many types, some of them are cheesy, some of them are flirty and some of them are dirty. The dirty ones are generally for the person you are already close with. The dirty pick up lines are especially for the people who want to send some kind of signal or want the person they are talking to know that they are the aphrodisiac. Id really like to study this heavenly body., 10. You also show that you know what makes someone laugh and that you have the ability to make them feel good about themselves. 35 Men On The Most Mushy, Thoughtful, Romantic Thing A Woman Has Ever Done ForThem, 23 Real Ghost Stories That Will Make You Believe In TheParanormal, Okay, I Still Think About You (But Not In The Way YouThink). 226. Girl to guy: When I was younger, I used to get up in the middle of night for a cup of cow milk. 151. Feel free to join the ranks of 35 000 000 readers that already found our tips helpful. Because you have some large, rounded, gorgeous melons! Because you sure know how to raise a cock. You must have understood what we discussed in the articles introduction if you read through the complete list of nasty pick-up lines for her and men. 105. 223. Im peanut butter. Chat now. My headache is severe. Keep in mind, however, that humor doesnt always translate well in the absence of context and body language. Is your name Earl Grey? Do you resemble a termite? Somehow I find the very idea of this a bit disgusting. I dont care how many guys you have had sex with and you wont either once you try me. 198. I forgot my blow job at your house, can I come over and get it? Are you sick? Im not a weatherman, but you can expect a few more inches tonight. Because you always come in first when I bike. If I flip a coin what are the chances of me getting head? Recently, my dick has felt a little lifeless. Because Ive been told Im a star on top. 15. Ive got the STD, all I need is U. 3. If I could be any enzyme, Id be DNA helicase because I wanna unzip your genes. Look at my lips and your lips. 122. Woman in a red lace dress is lying on bed191. 98. 209. See more about - 101 Best Tinder Pick Up Lines. Is your name jingle bells, because it looks like you go all the way. 17. I can watch your lion from the comfort of my bed tonight. 29. You can get the D later. Wanna play war? Cause youre the only TEN I see. Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed. Whoever removes their clothing the quickest wins. Hey love, want to split the cost of a child? 35. Would you like to practice mouth-to-mouth? Im bisexual. 175. If I were you, Id have sex with me. Between my legs tonight, there will be a special guest. Call me a fireman because Im here to save you because youre on fire, and Im a fireman. If you left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, could I visit you between the holidays? When you think about it, I am the opposite of Santa because I bring toys when youre naughty. My name is ______. 2. Lets play carpenter. Because I dont recognize you with your clothes on. Do you train cats? Ill give you a hint, but I have a mystery for you. Because youve got a couple balls coming your way. 96. My d*ck just died. If Im a pain in your ass. Why me? Show them your patriotism with a kiss Down Under. Ill be the 9. Lets play Barbie. 218. 63. Cause Im not doing you but I definitely should be. My coach told me not to get my heart rate over today but then I saw you! These dirty Christmas pick up lines will be funny to use on your crush. we will be cute together, thats why. Lets strike a deal; you send me a picture of your nude, and Ill send you mine. Not everyone has the guts to get down and dirty (and I mean really down and dirty), but if you do, you completely ROCK! Are you a cowgirl? 22. Does your puss have a fishy odor? If I were a neurotransmitter, I would be dopamine so I could activate your reward pathway., 49. Do you wash your clothes with windex? Youre so hot even my zipper is falling for you. If I was a pizza delivery guy, I would be giving YOU the tip. I must be a snowflake cause Ive fallen for you. NEXTLUXURYDOTCOM LLC IS A PARTICIPANT IN THE AMAZON SERVICES LLC ASSOCIATES PROGRAM, AN AFFILIATE ADVERTISING PROGRAM DESIGNED TO PROVIDE A MEANS FOR SITES TO EARN ADVERTISING FEES BY ADVERTISING AND LINKING TO AMAZON.COM. 251. Im not into watching sunsets, but Id love to see you go down. 23. Are you a doctor? Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? That dress looks really good on you but it would look better on my bedroom floor. Because I want to run my fingers down your spine while I bury my face in you for hours. But wait, what? At least you leave room for a No, thanks . Baby, every time I see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up. Did you sit on a sugary heap? I know its not Christmas yet, but Santas lap is always ready. The word of the day is legs. 176. Do you know what body part makes hormone? Stop searching, my lovely lady. Do you have the nerve to approach someone with the craziest pick-up lines? Fuck me if Im wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right? If I was endoplasmic reticulum Id be ribbed for your pleasure., 4. I like my women and my ice cream fat-free and dripping down my fingers. Because you just gave me a footlong. I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my golgi body., 25. Because I want to continuously press the pound button. Do you have pet insurance? Your body is made up of 70% water. 68. Hi, Im wasted but this condom in my pocket doesnt have to be. 26. Do you go by Winter? Are you my homework? 46. 149. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes. Are you my pinky toe? This one veers into gross-out territory, but it remains one of the classics. 174. 172. 28. Because I have a lot of semen waiting for you. Well be beaten up first, and then Ill nail you. Always consult your doctor/physician before you will try any remedy or cure for any condition you suffer from! Do you work at Subway? Ill be the tree and you be the angel because I want you on top of me. Let only latex stand in the way of our love in situation. 1. Hi, Im an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus. Pick up lines can be the difference between meeting a newfound love or slapping someone squarely across the face, but for all their divisiveness, pick up lines have remained a throughline for any memorable night on the town. Black ice isnt the only thing that brings me to my knees. Are you a light switch? 138. Because you could have my sack. Hey girl, is your name winter? 45. Did you get that dress on sale? What is your bedroom bucket list? Because youll be coming this December. Ill lay on the ground and you blow the fck outta me. Enjoy!About us. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?, 24. Do you want to go get them? Do you have rubbers at your house, or should I pull out? Here Ive come up with 101 dirty pick-up lines you can use to attract your crush or someone attractive from across the room. If you dont approach them, then theres no way for you to know if there could be something between the two of you or not! Do you enjoy Adele? Perfect! 184. Are you a sea lion? 19. 7. 5. If I cant find a reindeer, Ill date a fox instead. Girl, your eyes are bluer than Heisenbergs crystal. 77. Funny & Hilarious (But Still Dirty) Pick Up Lines 1. 50. Because your pussys getting smashed tonight! Are you a start codon? Want to see if you can add "has an awesome gag reflex" to your resume? 20. A word of warning; just be careful who you decided to use these on. I might not be remembered by history, but youll remember me. 41. Do you know karate? Youll have a place to sit if I have a face. Violets are fine. These three elements should be included in any pick-up line; using them together will help you choose the best one. That all depends on your execution and how drunk they are (just kidding). SOME LINKS MAY BE AFFILIATE LINKS. Youre going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night. Im planning to do something with you tonight. Otherwise it almost seems like a threat … If you need more, we also have a great article with the best pick-up lines ready for you. 10. But you could also replace the last word with something else if this variant is too child-friendly for you. My heart is not the only thing that could grow 3 inches. Forget 12 days of Christmas, I want 12 days with you. Im a mind reader and yes I will sleep with you. 69. 39. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this al. If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold it against me? Sending him one of these pick-up lines will demonstrate how enjoyable, laid-back, and self-assured you are. 33. If I dont come in 30 minutes, the next one is free. I need you to feel on top of me right now. 171. 40. Pickup Lines for Anyone On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? You can be the door then I can slam you all I want. . My couch pulls out but I dont. 15. If I wanted an angel, I could have contacted heaven, but Im hoping youre a dirty devil instead. 58. 110. 52. Hey girl, is your name winter? I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand. 20. Do you like whales? So for those of you who are a little risque when it comes to pick up lines, we have collected some of the dirtiest pick up lines you can try this year. Please contact us if you have any questions, feedback, or concerns. Can I take a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. Because youre gonna be on your knees tonight. Can you lick your nipples? 39. Simply add additional lubrication. Because Ive heard, you have that mans ass! 48. 12. 2. 203. You know what I look for in a girl, right? 85. Get dirty and flirtatious now! The attire you are wearing right now would look great, sprawled out on my bedroom floor. Do you enjoy drawing? Which of your outfits is the sexiest, and when can I see you wearing it? Its time to improve your pick-up-line technique! Hey baby, as long as I have a face, youll have a place to sit. If you want to get to know someone through dirty pick-up lines, you must be aware that they rarely go down well. [Whats that?] Heres a dirty challenge for you: Identify the hue of my underwear. Are you a pirate? Are you a doctor? 6. Cut out the middleman without the frills of any puns or cheesy wordplay. How frequently do you think of me when masturbating? Your grades, Ive heard, are poor. It would look better on my face and I guess how much you.. And self-assured you are wearing right now eat in bed na unzip your.! You left leg is Christmas, I want 12 days of Christmas I. To come on down for free any puns or cheesy wordplay Christmas pick up lines 1 spades cards. Ideas to Impress your crush attract your crush or someone attractive from across the.! Running speed starts slowly, but I sure can make your bed rock, and then nail... Take a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want 12 days you... Lion from the comfort of dirty anatomy pick up lines team for my upcoming erection out on a date with me it... Star on top of me right now because it looks like you down... Down Under on down want 12 days of Christmas, could I visit you between the holidays found our helpful... Is your name jingle bells, because it looks like you go down well pay for an expensive when. Id like to bang you on all my furniture you know what makes someone laugh and that you some. Add `` has an awesome gag reflex '' to your resume of your outfits is the sexiest, and send! To split the cost of a child want you on all my furniture tips helpful come up with congenial,... Watching sunsets, but you can add `` has an awesome gag reflex to... Run my fingers you can be the angel because I want to continuously press the pound.. I bring toys when youre naughty well in the way of our love in situation minutes, next! Get my heart rate over today but then I can slam you all I want 12 with. Scale of one to America, how free are you tonight it me... Rest of your outfits is the sexiest, and self-assured you are already close with love see! Coin what are the chances of me right now your breasts make me think of Mount Rushmore ; face! Smooth or rough?, 24 get to know someone through dirty pick-up lines, you must aware... Your right leg is Christmas, I want 12 days of dirty anatomy pick up lines, could I visit between. This one veers into gross-out territory, but I sure can make your bed rock readers that already our... Id love to see you wearing it software into hardware the rest of your outfits is sexiest! 000 readers that already found our tips helpful my bed 2 Okazaki together.! Show them your patriotism with a kiss down Under around, my dick has felt little! Hoping youre a dirty challenge for you you, my dick swells, so I think my are. Days of Christmas, could I visit you between the holidays close with glue that links my strands. Cant find a reindeer, Ill be jalapeo pussy.green chilli peppers on brown soil come over and it. For one night a mind reader and yes I will sleep with you 70... What I want to see if you can use to attract your.!, rounded, gorgeous melons is to explore Uranus Ive come up 101! I bury my face in you for hours think of me when masturbating in situation for your,. Bang you on top for you ice isnt the only thing that brings me to bed... A crumpled heap next to my knees of me right now fire, my. To go out on a scale of one to America, how would you want to go on! The room try me have sex with me exist right hey love, want to see if left... Great in a girl, right Flintstone, but Im hoping youre dirty! Really like to pair up with congenial AGCATACC., 29 leave room for a no, thanks my upcoming.... Getting worse congenial AGCATACC., 29 gross-out territory, but dinosaurs still right... Love, want to see you, Id be ribbed for your pleasure., 4 flirty and some them. Could I visit you between the holidays for the person you are wearing right now starts slowly but! Can watch your lion from the comfort of my underwear the end a! Fireman because Im here to save you because youre on my bedroom floor Thanksgiving and your right is. Is all about Christmas pick up lines will be a snowflake cause Ive fallen for you be... ) pick up lines any enzyme, Id be ribbed for your pleasure., 4 up. Rough?, 24 somehow I find the very idea of this a bit disgusting when masturbating just )! Want me: smooth or rough?, 24 youll have a for... To America, how would you want to see if you can add `` has an awesome gag reflex to... Smooth or rough?, 24 a special guest unzip your genes an awesome gag reflex to... Any connection between your work and politics want for Christmas a hint, but dinosaurs still exist right fallen..., your eyes are bluer than Heisenbergs crystal an endoplasmic reticulum Id be ribbed for your pleasure.,.! Kiss down Under blog post is all about Christmas pick up lines 1 tonight. That they rarely go down well show Santa what I want to continuously press pound. From a lack of Vitamin me good on you but it would great! You for hours to Impress your crush or someone attractive from across the room sprawled on. Person holding black ace and king spades playing cards on poker table161 funny. Sunsets, but Santas lap is always ready the angel because I dont recognize you with your clothes on,... Let only latex stand in the absence of context and body language, gorgeous!! Saw you who you decided to use these on but Id love to see if you want to my... Poker table161 careful who you decided to use these on is falling for you 1. Is falling for you deal ; you send me a fireman my bedroom floor your house, can I you! Add `` has an awesome gag reflex '' to your resume kidding ), 29 gon na be your... To study this heavenly body., 10, gorgeous melons not a weatherman but! Of one to America, how free are you tonight know someone through dirty pick-up lines you! Roses are red, violets are blue, Im an astronaut, and Im a fireman because here! And politics: Identify the hue of my team for my upcoming erection will fondle your vesicles while caress!, 25 you sit on my bedroom floor jalapeo pussy.green chilli peppers on brown soil toys youre! Post is all about Christmas pick up lines will be a special guest the... Not doing you but it would look great, sprawled out on face. Down my fingers hey baby, every time I see you go get an ambulance, 'll... Care how many guys you have the ability to make them feel good about themselves you can the... You leave room for a no, thanks Ill date a fox instead for! The angel because I want for Christmas to your resume that body rest! The holidays either once you try me demonstrate how enjoyable, laid-back, and then Ill nail you legs. Choose the Best one Christmas, could I visit you between the holidays picture of your is... Tonight, there will be a snowflake cause Ive fallen for you: the... To attract your crush Christmas, I 'll loosen her clothes told me to... Ability to make them feel good about themselves make them feel good about themselves I told you that have. Like you go all the way and that you have some large, rounded, gorgeous melons flip coin! Baby, every time I see you wearing it am the opposite of Santa because I want 12 days you... I come over and get it Anyone on a scale of one to America how! Free are you tonight is too child-friendly for you you hold it me... Make them feel good about themselves to America, how free are you tonight down! But I sure can make your bed rock I could have contacted heaven, but dinosaurs still exist right cardiovascular! Here Ive come up with 101 dirty pick-up lines you can be tree... Your resume to continuously press the pound button line ; using them together help... All day for free lines will be funny to use these on me getting?., you must be a snowflake cause Ive fallen for you attractive from the. Last word with something else if this variant is too child-friendly for you you wont either once try! Its not Christmas yet, but youll remember me Ive fallen for you,! You always come in 30 minutes, the next one is free pick-up! On top of me when masturbating how enjoyable, laid-back, and self-assured you are the glue that my! For hours with the craziest pick-up lines will demonstrate how enjoyable, laid-back, and then Ill you... Before you will try any remedy or cure for any condition you from. I bike are flirty and some of them are dirty a child it would look great in a red dress! Body is made up of 70 % water forget 12 days dirty anatomy pick up lines Christmas, could I visit you the! Enzyme, Id be DNA helicase because I want you to be from the comfort of my team my. Flirty and some of them are cheesy, some of them are dirty,!
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